My Pursuit of Happiness: Starts with a story

This is gonna be a long one, so open it if you want or ignore it if you don’t.

It all starts with my roommates, Lance and Julio. Lance is the only one of us on the lease, and since I returned from a trip home on January 24th, he’s been a total pain in my ass. First he was using MY note pads to leave notes to Julio and I about doing the dishes, or vacuuming the hallway, or whatever. Then, when a freak incident happened in which case my and Julio’s bathroom sink over-flowed and soaked the carpet, he was bitching about the smell. Before I could afford to do anything about it, Lance decided we were all going to pay to have the carpets cleaned (without first asking us if we could currently afford it), and he alerted me on my birthday (February 7th) that I owed him $29 for it.
Then, Julio decided to clean the bathroom so he then became rather anal about keeping it that way. One day while I was at school, he stuffed the plastic toilet paper wrap into the small bathroom trashcan and caused it to over-flow and for whatever reason expected ME to clean up the mess. Naturally, I refused to clean up after a grown man (they’re both at least 4 years older than me) so I left the mess for him to clean up. When he did, he left a note (again, on MY note pads) about keeping the bathroom clean. He constantly leaves water messes all over the counters and constantly leaves the toilet seat up, but I’ve never complained.
Then, once the carpets were cleaned, there was a note left about vacuuming the dirt out of the hallway and keeping the carpets clean since they were shampooed. I ignored it, because seeing as how I was the only one that had done dishes in the last 4 months (minus when I was gone for vacation) and the only one that swept up the kitchen and the walkway by the door, I wasn’t also going to do all the vacuuming.

Now, ever since I moved in my boyfriend has been over quite a bit. Always in my room except when we’re cooking or leaving, and since I was paying rent I figured I should be able to have visitors whenever I wanted. Apparently not. Lance had a problem with him being over so-often, didn’t state any particular reason, but instead of addressing Joshua (le-boyfriend) about it, he put me in the middle and made me explain it to him. So Joshua only came over on weekends and stayed away, and then I started going home a lot for the holidays. I was basically gone for 2 months, minus a couple weeks here and a week there in between trips. Even when I was back, Joshua was only over for a few days at a time.
We took a trip, together, to Oregon in January and returned the 24th. Joshua stayed over one night when we got back because he couldn’t get a ride home yet, then he was gone for a week. He returned the weekend before my birthday (for obvious reasons) and returned home the day after. However, I developed myself an eye infection/really bad allergy eye thing and needed help putting eye-drops in my eyes because I’m physically incapable of doing them myself. I have an issue with things going in or near my eyes. So he came back the following day to help me and stayed through the weekend because we had Valentines Day plans. So he was there first, Friday-Tuesday Feb 7th, then Thursday-Wednesday Feb 15th. Monday the 13th is when it all blew up. 

So monday night, the night before Valentine’s Day, I left a bowl in the fridge with the tiny bit I had left of my chili cheese tots because I wanted to finished later, and he brought me out and talked to me like an idiot. Pointing to it and saying “that’s not cool right? Like, that’s not cool.” Even after I explained that I was going to finish it later, he insisted I put it in a tupperware container. So I had to dirty extra dishes because he had a bitch fit.  
I returned to my room, Joshua, and the movie we were watching after that. Not even 20 minutes later Lance knocked again and had me come out and talk to him. Then he proceeded to layout the following issues, continually mentioning that if these problems continue I’ll be given a 30-day eviction notice:
1) There’s supposedly an animal piss-like smell coming from my room/the hallway, so I was accused 4 times of having a cat or other animal in my bedroom. Pets aren’t allowed in this apartment, which I know, and my allergies react to cats bad enough that I couldn’t handle having one in just one room where I always am.
2) There was supposedly used feminine products on the floor in the bathroom, of a variety that I do not even use, that Julio had to pick up. First of all, I grew up with AT LEAST 2 boys in the house at all times, I know how to handle my feminine products in a respectful and cleanly way. I wouldn’t leave them on the floor. But “why would Julio lie about something like that?” Whatever.
3) Lance and Julio both work most week-days, and Joshua and I (or even I by myself) get rather noisy at night and shouldn’t be having “full-blown conversations” at 2am. I’ll admit to this one, we do lose track of the hour rather easily at times, but we aren’t the only ones. And our “full-blown conversation” at 2am was about our relationship, we weren’t being loud, and I will NOT apologize for that.
4) I am apparently the only person in the house that ever slams their bedroom or the front door. Lance slams his bedroom door EVERY time I hear him shut it, and both Lance and Julio often slam the door when they leave. So they can go fuck themselves.
5) My personal favorite: Joshua had worn out his welcome. He has to leave, and he’s no longer invited over. First of all: The next day was fucking VALENTINES DAY. I had to argue just to get him to be allowed to stay until after that. Secondly: I’m a grown damn woman, and Lance is NOT my parent. He has no right to tell a PAYING roommate that their significant other isn’t welcome in the house anymore. That’s bullshit.

On top of all the stress at school and with the notes previous to this, I broke down once I was back in my room. I’ve never felt so unwelcome in my own home, or even someone else’s home before. So Joshua and I decided, I needed to find a place and I needed to get the fuck out. So we looked, and we found one. That’s when things got really bad.

I’m sure some of you have heard of the Nigerian rental scams in different parts of the US. Well, I never had. They told me they were relocated to Nigeria for work and couldn’t find someone to handle their business for them before they left. They also told me the apartment had been destroyed once, which the pictures depicted easily. So I sent $900 (first months rent at $550 and deposits at $350) and waited for them to send me the keys. The next day I got an e-mail stating that there had been a mistake, they needed first and last month’s rent, his wife didn’t know and that’s why she only asked for 900. I refused to send more money without first receiving the keys, and then they were gone. No more e-mail replies, the phone number was constantly busy, no more $900. As soon as they didn’t reply I knew what had happened, but I was in denial. That $900 had come from my mother, because she knew my situation and wanted to help me get out. That’s when I really broke down.

I fell apart, I felt like an idiot and a failure. There were no other apartments and there was no money to move; I was stuck and I was drowning. My boyfriend talked to his family and tried to find a place for me, but there was nothing. And I was so far gone already that I no longer had (or have) motivation to go to school. I no longer have desire to pursue my dreams. I feel empty. 
I haven’t been this depressed in years, and when I was I never told my family about it. So for them, to hear me this way, is worrisome. Hell, I’m even scaring myself.

Anyway, it was discussed and suggested and discussed some more, and the ultimate decision came to me: I want to go home. Home is my safety zone, my net. Whenever anything bad ever happened, I went home. I need Mom. I need my brothers. I need my sister, and my nephew and my friends. Hell, I even need my Dad. I need to be surrounded by the familiar so I can get back on my feet, get my head together. I didn’t want to leave Joshua, I need him too, but I had no place to stay.
Well, for the first time ever for me, his Dad came through. His parents encouraged him to go with me, to find a job and go to school and make something of himself. All things that are easier to do there than where he is now. So I dropped out of classes with a full-refund, and am putting school off until Summer term.

So the plans were made and are somewhat still in the works, but as of February 26th, 2012 I will be back home in Oregon indefinitely. Joshua’s family are going to drop me off at the Greyhound that morning and meet me in Oregon on Tuesday or Wednesday to move our stuff in. They’re doing a last family road-trip to send Joshua off with. And then we’ll be officially Oregon residents. I hope that this break from school will help me to get my shit together, and maybe get a job. 

And now begins my Pursuit of Happiness.